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The Anxious Developer Newsletter

"Except, Accept, Allow": Self-Regulating Advice for Reducing Stress and Anxiety in Software Development

Published about 1 year ago • 2 min read

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"Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune." - William James


Hey Reader,

Today, I want to share with you a powerful self-regulating advice that has the potential to transform your life by reducing stress and anxiety!

It's called "Except, Accept, Allow" a concept introduced by renowned psychologist Martin N. Seif, and I've personally found it to be incredibly helpful in navigating the challenges we face in our Software Development journeys.

As developers, we often find ourselves caught in the whirlwind of tight deadlines, demanding projects, and high expectations. The pressure can become overwhelming, affecting our mental and physical well-being.

That's why I'm personally excited to introduce you to the concept of "Except, Accept, Allow" and how it has made a significant impact on bringing a sense of calm and balance to my life.

The principles of "Except Accept Allow":

  • Except: Acknowledge that not everything is within our control in the software development process. Bugs, technical constraints, and unexpected challenges are a part of the journey. By recognizing this and letting go of the need for complete control, we can direct our energy towards what we can influence and make a positive impact.
  • Accept: Embrace the reality of imperfections and uncertainties in coding. Accept that not every line of code will be flawless, and that's okay. Embrace the learning process and view mistakes as opportunities for growth. This acceptance allows us to navigate through coding challenges with greater resilience and adaptability.
  • Allow: Let go of perfectionism and the relentless pursuit of control in Software Development. Allow yourself to experiment, iterate, and learn from failures. Take breaks, seek support when needed, and prioritize self-care. By doing so, we create a healthier development environment and cultivate a more positive mindset.

I've personally found great solace in embracing the "Except, Accept, Allow" approach in my daily life. It has allowed me to let go of the constant need for control, accept the iterative nature of software development, and be kinder to myself in the face of challenges.

Remember, reducing stress and anxiety is a journey, and it's important to prioritize self-care along the way. Take small steps towards implementing these principles in your daily practice, and observe the positive changes that unfold.


That was it for this week, I hope you are having an amazing week, taking it slow and being kind to yourself when going through challenges at work!

— Andrei

Let's connect! 💬 You can find me on Instagram and Twitter.


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The Anxious Developer Newsletter

Andrei Zgîrvaci

A weekly newsletter tailored for Software Developers seeking to reduce their stress and overcome anxiety in the workplace!

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